I asked the owls if you loved me true

I ask the owls
If you love me true
They only say
Tawitt Tawoo.

I ask the owls
Why I feel so blue
They only say
Tawitt Tawoo.

I ask the owls
What shall I do?
They only say
Tawitt Tawoo.

I ask the owls
The meaning of life
They only say
Tawitt Tawoo.

I say to the owls,
Is that your best advice?
Is that the way it is?
Is that the deep and meaningful
Consensus of the universe,
Is that It?
Is that all there is?
What good are you, owls,
What’s the bloody point?

Swivel headed mouse munchers.
Nocturnal namby pambies.
Solemn pointy eared gawkers.
Tawitt bloody tawoo.
I’ll show you where you can stick
Your tawitt bloody tawoo.

My mad ranting
Frightened them away.

I ask the cuckoos
If you love me true
They only say
Cuckoo, cuckoo.

I replied,
That’s not what the owls said.

The Ballad of the Butterfly and the Moth

The ballad of the butterfly and the moth

Said the moth to the butterfly
Every time you flutter by
I feel I have to stop a while
Look my best and give you a smile
And hope that you’re a mothophile
So we can be together.

Said the butterfly to the moth,
Why don’t you bugger off?
You moths are all the same
Your wings are brown and plain
And you’re always drawn to a flame
Like me, for I am hot.

Said the moth to the butterfly,
I’d like to give that a try.
I feel my heart go boom
You add colour to every room.
I love you more than the moon.
Or a lightbulb.

Said the butterfly to the moth.
You’ve now incurred my wrath.
I know I am a gorgeous sight
My colours are pretty, I need the light
I can’t be with someone who’s out all night,
I deserve to be seen.

Said the moth to the butterfly
I wouldn’t want to nullify
Your propensity to brag
I have cans of paint in my bag
Decorate me, I can go in drag
And then I’d look just like you.

Said the butterfly to the moth,
You’re a bit like nature’s goth.
I’m demure and somewhat dinky.
And you’re odious and stinky,
To be honest it sounds a bit kinky.
You know what? Let’s do it.

Said the moth in bed to the butterfly
Shall I sing you a lullaby?
In films we are always told
We’ll find somebody to hold
No! Don’t turn on that bulb!