The sky’s falling in

So I’m walking along and
Chicken Lickem comes up
And he’s all like,
Alright geez?
And I’m like,
Steady, mate, steady,
And he says
Bloody sky’s falling in,
Just stepped out the house
And a bit of it lands on me bonce,
And I’m like,
Bloody hell, you having a larf?,
And he says no mate, straight up,
So we’re off to the coffee shop and
Henny Penny’s in there having one of them
Macchiatos, and he’s like, alright Henny?
Bloody sky’s falling in, isn’t it?
And Henny turns around and says,
Pull the other one,
And he says no mate, straight up,
So then we’re off to this place that
Serves you a burger and chips, you know,
But they bung it on a lump of wood,
And Cocky Lockys in there,
And Henny Penny and Chicken Licken,
They’re like, bloody sky’s falling in,
And cocky Lockys like,
You’re having me on, right?,
And We’re like, no, mate, straight up,
And we got to the supermarket and,
Bump into Goosey Lucy and Gander Lander
And Drakey Lakey and Ducky Lucky and
Ponkey Donkey and Foxy Loxy
And Coaty Goatie and Beepy Sheepy
And Lara Llama and Mazelle Gazelle and
Pocelot Ocelot and Mangaroo Kangaroo and Steve
And they’re all like,
Shitting hell, mate,
And we’re like, no mate, straight up,
And they’re like, let’s all go to a nightclub
And we’re in the nightclub and it’s loud and he
Gets off with this woman, she’s like,
Oh Chicken Licken,
But the musics thumping and he’s like,
I don’t want a permanent relationship,
The sky’s falling in,
And shes like, what?
And he’s like, what?
And she’s like, what?
And he’s like, what?
And she’s like, forget it,
And Chicken Lickens like,
What?
And we’re all laughing and he’s all,
Hey, double sorted, double lush,
And we’re like,
Nah, mate, nah, she’s gone, and he’s like,
She was putty in my hands,
And were like, pull the other one, and he’s like,
Bloody tossbags, the lot of you.

Author: Robert Garnham

Performance and spoken word artist.

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