My grandad is a drag queen

My grandad is a drag queen
He goes to lots of shows
He sings Aretha Franklin
Badly, through his nose.

My grandad is a drag queen
Wearing glittery frocks
He’s only short but he looks quite tall
By standing on a box.

My grandad is a drag queen
My gran at first was aghast
Ten years ago she said it was a phase
And it probably wouldn’t last.

My grandad is a drag queen
I’ve seen his act, it’s riotous
He has them dancing in the aisles
Depending on his arthritis

My grandad is a drag queen
With his perfect comportment
High heels and a sequin dress
While digging in his allotment.

My grandad is a drag queen
He hits the club dance floor
He twists and vogues and breakdances
He’s just gone ninety four.

My grandad is a drag queen
He says it’s a nice little earner
He enters contests, shows and things
As Tina Afterburner.

My grandad is a drag queen
I know it’s not traditional
Sashaying to the shops each day
To buy his Werther’s Originals.

My grandad is a drag queen
He gets on stage and kills,
Lip syncing to I Will Survive,
Which he won’t if he’s not taken his pills!

My grandad is a drag queen
He really couldn’t look any cuter
In a sparkly sequinned dress yesterday
At the shops in his electric scooter

My grandad is a drag queen
He makes me feel such pride
He’s fierce and cool and glamorous
But he’s still my grandad inside.

Author: Robert Garnham

Performance and spoken word artist.

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