Wedding Poem for Karen and Chris

I’ve just spent the weekend at the wedding of an old school friend who asked me to perform a poem at the actual ceremony. It was a huge honour. He asked that I base the poem on the wedding scene from the film The Princess Bride. I sent him the draft and he sent it to the registrar to make sure that there was no religious content and it got the all clear. I think it went down OK! Amyway, here is the poem.

Poem

On being asked to compose a
Ceremonial matrimonial poetic testimonial,
One isn’t inclined to monial,
Perchance, that I should inquire of Alexa,
‘Information on the word, wedding’,
That Alexa should reply,
‘A large town to the west of London,
Wobert’.

Is a wedding not the affirmation of love,
The elevation of love,
The joining of two souls,
Two lives, two personalities,
Two bank accounts,
Two different methods of placing cutlery
In the cutlery drawer?
(Spoons in the middle.
Any other method
In this poet’s opinion,
Is wrong, wrong, wrong),
Two families
In to one cohesive happy union?

Can there be no better encapsulation
Of wedded bliss,
Sealed with a kiss,
Than Karen and Chris?
How the years have passed since
The Chris we knew at school who,
With our trademark youthful exuberance
We nicknamed,
Well,
Chris,
Was already on a journey to love,
And Karen too,
Skipping on the wings of destiny,
Lifted by the angels of love.
(It says here ‘Insert RAF ground crew metaphor
But I didn’t do enough research).

For what is love,
But a reason to be alive.
What is love
But a force which keeps the world turning.
What is love
That without it one might be as useless
As a Lockheed Tristar K1 standard
Minus its Rolls Royce RB211 Turbofans.
(I did a bit of research).
What is love,
Baby don’t hurt me,
Don’t hurt me,
No more.

And thence that we should rightly acclaim
The wedded nuptials.
Marriage is what brings us together today.
Marriage, that blessed arrangement.
Marriage, that dream within a dream.
And love, true love,
Will follow you forever and ever.
So cherish that love.