Poem
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It’s personal
It’s galling
Those three words
So appalling
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I was almost home
I was on my own
It came on
The microphone
The whole train
Let out a groan
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So comfy
So rested
My money
I’d invested
In a sandwich
For eight quid
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It’s personal
It’s galling
Those three words
So appalling
It’s not fair
Don’t deserve it
My seat was
Not reserved
And now I’m
In the vestibule
I’m such a fool
In the vestibule
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It’s almost time
We’re almost near
Into every heart
Who holds dear
These words strike
So much fear
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It’s personal
It’s galling
Those three words
So appalling
I sit with
A life coach
He said hey
I’m a life coach
Just trust me
I’m a life coach
And be happy
Just like me
Because I
Am a life coach
But he looked so
Miserable
As he got
On he coach
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It really is
A tough day
I was queuing
In the buffet
And just as I
Was about to say
Can I have
A coffee?
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It’s personal
It’s galling
Those three words
So appalling
The man in charge
Hit by lightning
It was so
Very frightening
He was the
Conductor
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I don’t fear
Armageddon
And I’m not one
For religion
But I quiver
When you mention
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It’s personal
It’s galling
Those three words
So appalling
The Lad with
No ticket
He really
Couldn’t risk it
He hid in
The toilet
He’s probably
Still in there
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I was sitting
In the quiet zone
Felt so peaceful
I was on my own
Now there’s music
From a mobile phone
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It’s personal
It’s galling
Those three words
So appalling
Some people
Take so long
To sit down
As they faff around
And just when
They manage to
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Excuse me
I think you
Will find that
You’re sitting
In my seat
Get out please
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It’s personal
It’s galling
Those three words
So appalling
The fear now
Is spreading
Those words that
I’m dreading
Welcome
To Reading!
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Excuse me
Says a lady
To the driver
Where is first class?
And the driver
Says ha ha
Ha ha ha
Ha ha ha
Ha ha ha
There isn’t one
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It’s personal
It’s galling
Those three words
So appalling
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My uncles
Dear funeral
It was so
Damn miserable
What’s worse was
The hearse was
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Robert Garnham 