I wish I could make a lemon meringue

I wish I could make
A lemon meringue
A lemon meringue for me.
And if I could, then
I would harangue
The people who laugh at me.
Look at me
With my lemon meringue
That is what I’d say.
Come round sometime
For some lemon meringue
Next time you’re passing this way.

And if I should meet
An Oran utan
I’d say, excuse me sir.
Would you like
Some lemon meringue
Don’t get it in your fur.
And late at night
When the phone rang
A friend would brazenly ask,
Would you whip up
A lemon meringue?
I know it’s a pain in the arse.

But I can’t make
A lemon meringue
They always fall apart.
It’s ever so bitter,
There’s a strange tang,
It really breaks my heart.
And it repeats
Like a boomerang
It’s driving me round the bends.
That I can’t make
A lemon meringue
And that’s why I’ve got no friends.

Author: Robert Garnham

Performance and spoken word artist.

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